“If you want to reach a state of bliss, then go beyond your ego and the internal dialogue. Make a decision to relinquish the need to control, the need to be approved, and the need to judge. Those are the three things the ego is doing all the time. It’s very important to be aware of them every time they come up.”– Deepak Chopra
Letting Go of Ego
As you move forward in discovering your true potential you will invariably enter in to a battle of wills between the ego and your higher more enlightened self. It happens to every one of us as we begin to discover our true or spiritual selves.
A few years ago, while recovering from an accident I was having a hard time with depression. During a rather intense discussion with my significant other, I was out of control, very upset, and crying. I remember screaming that I know that there’s this other presence inside of me just trying to get out.
I’m surprised that during my tirade my partner didn’t rush me off to the nearest loony bin right then and there. Because I’m sure, I was sounding a bit well, strange to say the least talking about another presence inside me.
I continued to say, I know that I’m supposed to feel different. I know that I’m supposed to be more than I am. I know that things are not supposed to be this way. I know that there’s more to us than we show.
But at that time, I really didn’t understand just what was going on. I figured it was the medication or just the affects of the depression. I wasn’t in a place yet where I was ready even to try to understand the conflict I was feeling. But I also didn’t let it go. I kept trying to figure out just what was going on inside because I knew that somehow it would lift me out of the depression. And, that’s all I wanted.
As I worked on discovering what I was feeling, I began reading many different books. And the more I read the more clear it became. I was locked in a battle with ego and my true self or spiritual self. My true self wanted to escape the depression while ego wanted to stay in charge and keep things status quo.
One moment my true self or spiritual self would be in charge and I’d feel some inkling of hope. The next ego would be back in charge running the show and all I felt was deep despair. This battle raged on for quite some time until I finally understood completely what was going on.
Once I figured it out, I began to pay attention to the way I felt. I’d acknowledge my true self every time it would show up. I’d do the best I could to listen to what my spiritual self was telling me. It wasn’t long then until the cloud of depression lifted just enough for me to start making real progress and feeling good again.
Spiral Out of Control
This type conflict doesn’t always begin during a state of depression, but it does usually begin during darker times in our lives. It’s during these times that we lose what little connection we have to our spiritual selves. This allows ego to get a firm hold on our thoughts and feelings and it tries to dominate us completely.
Unless we recognize this, ego moves in to take over. This is where things start to spiral out of control and we feel helpless. We feel as though we have no control over anything in our lives. It is from this place that most of us operate on a daily basis. From a place of confusion and fear where ego struggles to gain control against that it cannot control. It’s a wonder that any of us manage to function as rationally as we do.
This internal battle is as old as life itself. So, learning to let go of ego will take time and much diligence. You have to find it within yourself to be persistent. And be ready for all the sly tricks ego will throw your way. Ego will not go quietly. The internal debate will cause much conflict and be quite noisy.
As you challenge your limited beliefs, ego will give you every valid reason it can come up with to hold on. Just know that your true self is much stronger than this. And, as your true self emerges and your spiritual awareness grows stronger, ego will soon lose its grasp. But also be aware that it’s during this time that ego will seek to compromise. Don’t let this happen or ego will back in charge before you know it.
In order to let go of ego you must learn to listen. For most of us, our minds are never quiet. There’s always some form of self-talk going on inside us. We’re either thinking about the past and all the bad stuff that happened then or we’re planning for the future and all the good stuff we want to happen.
Just Listen
Our mind runs a mile a minute plotting, planning, and scheming how to change the way things are. Or, our mind is engaged in some form or another of negative self-talk about ourselves or someone else. We never just get quiet and listen. I know I’d been told by my parents a few times in my youth, “You can’t listen if your mouth is moving.”
It’s the same with our minds, we can’t hear the message if we continue to self-talk over it. We have to learn to get quiet and really listen. The messages that we are listening for are coming from a much deeper place than ego. Therefore, in the beginning you must challenge every thought you have. And you challenge these thoughts by figuring out just how they make you feel and then letting go of them.
Feelings of anger, fear, anxiety, hatred, loathing, stress, apathy, or any feeling that makes you feel anything other than good and at peace is ego rearing its ugly head. Beware of such thoughts and learn to let them go quickly. Don’t hold on to such thoughts because they give ego a chance to regain control.
With ego out of the picture, you will feel at ease, peaceful and happy. When problems do arise, they will be short lived and easily resolved. Remember to take your time, give yourself plenty of room to learn new behaviors, and let go of the old ones. Your old behaviors have developed over a lifetime, but with persistence and ego out of the picture, your life will be at peace before you know it.
For more information on letting go of limiting thoughts, be sure to check out the Sedona Method:
