You may think you’re afraid to fail, but in truth, you’re really afraid you’ll succeed. Without failure, there can be no success. —SL Taylor
How to Allow Success
Success in general is the one thing that seems to elude most people. Only 10% of Ivy League graduates become successful. And out of that ten percent, only 1% actually develops enough wealth to be considered truly wealthy meaning they have a net worth of $5 million dollars or more. If education doesn’t guarantee success, what does?
The only real guarantee for success is a burning desire to become successful. The ultimate belief in yourself that you are successful. Not that you’re going to be successful but that you already are. If you believe anything else either consciously or unconsciously then the likely hood of finding lasting success is almost nil.
Cultivating this belief requires work on your part though. First, you have to learn to change any self-limiting beliefs that you may have. Self-limiting beliefs are negative thoughts that you have consistently had over time and allowed to manifest into full-fledged beliefs.
Learning to change these beliefs is easy. Actually changing them is the hard part. But if you’re willing to be consistent, it can be done. Any limitation you put on yourself is actually just imaginary. The reality is that you are full of potential and can do anything you set your mind to.
When you have a clear-cut purpose, you’ll find your way around any obstacles that present themselves. It’s all about your personal perception and beliefs.
If you think you can you’ll be able to. If you think you can’t you won’t be able to. It all depends on what you’ve taught yourself to believe about your abilities.
Resolve or Resistance
As two people encounter the same difficult situation, they may react completely differently. One may approach the situation with a sense of resolve, the other with a sense of resistance.
The one who chooses to be resolved about the situation will look for a solution and keep looking until they find one. They will perceive the difficulty as a learning opportunity and easily move past it and on to the next opportunity.
But the one who resists perceives the situation as a real problem something they can do nothing about. They become stuck in the situation and think they have no way out.
They allow this thought to take over and begin believing that they really don’t have any means to resolve the issue. This leads to more negativity and a defeatist attitude.
As they begin to feel this way about their situation they begin to think this is their reality. When that happens, they feel defeated, their feelings lead them to make the choice to believe that they will remain stuck in their present situation possibly forever.
Once they choose to believe this then they begin to make it their reality. This is how self-limiting beliefs become embedded in your thoughts.
Changing Self-Limiting Beliefs
First, you must learn to identify them. Fortunately, for most people this won’t require years on the couch in psychotherapy. But make no mistake it does take persistence to deal with self-limiting beliefs.
The easiest way to identify them is to challenge every negative feeling that you have. This means that if you’re not already you need to be in touch with your feelings.
You instinctively know when you feel good and when you don’t. When you don’t, stop and pay attention to how you’re feeling and what you were just thinking that brought up the negative feeling.
Then challenge that thought. You must challenge each and every self-limiting thought you have. Counter it with a thought that’s better.
It doesn’t have to be much better it just has to be better than the thought you’re currently thinking. For instance, there’s a posting for a new position at your company.
You’d like to apply for it, but you’re feeling that resistance kick in. You start thinking I’m not qualified. Or, I’m not smart enough to learn all that’s required. Or, they’d never hire me any way. Or, I wouldn’t fit in. What ever resistant thought or belief you have.
Now, every time one of those thoughts (or beliefs) rises up say to your self, “that’s not true. I have many of the skills that they’re looking for.” And write down on a piece of paper all the skills you currently have that would transfer to a new position.
Or if you believe you’re not smart enough, say to yourself, “that’s not true, I’ve learned so many things.” Then begin listing some of the many things you’ve learned. It can be about the new job, or it can be about anything at all.
Do this with every self-limiting thought you have. Once you’re able to see in writing that all the things you believed to be true really aren’t then you’ll realize that you can do anything you desire.
And if success is one of those things you have a burning desire for, you will no longer fear it. You’ll resolve yourself to the fact that you can easily be as successful as Bill Gates. That is, if you believe you can.
